I've waited so long for this month to come around, it hardly feels real now that it has actually arrived!
I mean, if my life were one of those books I've been writing about in English, I think this month would be the turning point - not to scare myself, but there really is a sense of the rest of everything that matters to me right now riding on these next few weeks.
Obviously it is exams that are clouding the forefront of my mind, after months of preparation and studying and "staying cool". With the first one over and past today, I can say that all those nerves and stress I thought I'd be feeling right now seem to have bypassed me, and in fact I'm just tired and relieved; quietly confident but not wanting to jinx anything! Still though, it's undoubtedly easy to dwell on what could have gone, or could still go, wrong, yet I also know this is my time to finally let all my hard work pay off and get the most from it! I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm excited, but it's a feeling not that different.
So, I approach this month with optimism, and a handful of mini-goals for myself (maybe like not looking like Cyclops in photos...)
With looming stress and drowning in books, comes also the opportunity to take a break and embrace a healthy, happy lifestyle. Everybody says this every month, I know. But the past few weeks I feel like I've really been getting into it, and on the first of the month, having just returned from a quick run, I'm feeling positive that this can, and will, continue. Eating well, drinking lots of water, regular moving - simple right?! As with any girl on the internet, I feel Cassey Ho from Blogilates is my saviour in helping me with this, and as much as possible I'll be following her May calendar (I can already tell I'm going to die from it, no joke).
Something I've been wanting to do more for a long time now is draw and paint, and literally just in the past few days I've already tried to start this. My problem before was that I never know what to draw, being such a damn perfectionist(not a good thing_, but now I'm going to drop the idea that everything I do has to be of any quality, and just make some (possibly not great) art for the fun of it instead! I'm hoping the amazing original ideas will ensue.
Study leave. Weeks of free time at home. Sure, I'll get some studying done, and some fun things too perhaps, but what am I really looking forward to? Getting to read! Now my English exam is officially over, I can pack away all those quotes and themes and characters which have been consuming me since last August, and finally enjoy books again. Not really a goal because I love it, but certainly something I will look forward to getting the chance to do once more, not to mention blogging about it too. (Also, watching Game of Thrones, which I've recently been hooked by, but I don't know if that's something I should actually encourage in myself?...)
Staying positive is something I'm normally ok at on the surface, but everybody has their down days, even their 'really-down' days. Recently I have been feeling a lot happier, not thanks to anything in particular I don't think, but this is something I want to maintain - however one does that! With the flowers blooming and the prospect of summer and the great big world and future just around the corner, May feels set to be a mighty alright month. If it'll agree to jump on board and be kind and treat us all well, then what could go wrong?
x
Cyclopes!!
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